Thursday, December 27, 2012

Homeschooling and Personality

Interesting experience several months back. Tae-kwon-do tournament - Legoboy was testing for the next belt up; the instructor had separated out the white and yellow stripes to a different test day, so Legoboy only had one other person testing below him; everyone else was above him. The other girl was testing for green belt and entrance onto STORM team (Special Team of Role Models - intended for students up to age 18, with higher expectations of behavior and well, being a role model ;) - the standards are HIGH). Legoboy was already on the STORM team and testing for the next higher belt.

There were a few white belts and yellow stripes at the test just to watch. They look up to these higher belts.

This post has two parts - they are inter-related. Bear with me for a moment ;)

All was going well, for the most part. Those two youngest-children-lowest-belts-testing both have some "attitude" issues to work out, hopefully during their childhoods so they don't have to deal with it as adults. The instructor/master got after them both, publicly; because they are now role models and it needed to be made clear 1) where the bar is placed if you're going to be on STORM team; 2) those lower belts are watching and need to know what behavior is acceptable to copy; and 3) their display of negative behavior was public and at least once for each of them directly affected the test results of someone else.

Before anyone gets riled up about a public chewing out - please note these facts:

  • the TKD master has been at this for 20-or-so years. The combined years of all instructors present was well over 100 years. They have turned around children with SEVERE behavior issues (far beyond anything displayed on that test day); and even had a child with severe ADHD and allergic to all medications for it. They KNOW what they are doing. They are NOT ripping these kids apart.

  • The higher belts - they messed up too. And they got their own chewing outs, as well as the push-ups. In front of everyone. You mess up in front of everyone, you're doing push-ups. Period.

  • It's not like "everyone look over here while I give this kid push-ups and everyone stare at him until he does them all" - NO! It's in a very busy place, with a LOT going on. A FEW people might be watching at any moment; but we all know those lower belts eyes were everywhere taking everything in.


During this particular test, a lady came in a bit late and sat with a friend of hers in the "audience". They chatted a bit, then I heard the new lady say, "Wow, there are a lot of homeschoolers here." The lady who had already been there said, "Really!? How do you know?"

"Oh, I can spot them a mile away!"

(inwardly I'm groaning - this is going to be one of those "homeschoolers have no social skills, are social recluses, thus they stand out like a sore thumb" and I started to slide away (I was sitting on the floor videotaping key moments of the test for various people) - but I couldn't get away fast enough before hearing more - I'm glad I got stuck ;) ).

She started to identify each and every homeschooler present at the test (I know several homeschooling students weren't there as they weren't testing that day). Every. Single. One. Including the ones with "perfect behavior and social skills."

Wow. I stuck around to hear more.

She explained that there is a confidence about those who homeschool - an inner peace that exudes outward, even through their particular personalities which can't be affected by the type of schooling they have (HER words! not mine! Wish they were mine!).

Interestingly enough, my son and the other girl noted above have some similar issues; and they both had "addresses" during the testing. Yet, my son stood out as the homeschooler and the girl stood out as the public schooler.

INTERESTING SIDE NOTE: She did not, at that time, see any of these children interact with their parents. All parents were in the "audience" and it was not clear who belonged to who. The students interacted amongst themselves and with the instructors present.

During a break in filming, I approached her and asked if she could give me specific points about each child that made her say "homeschool" or "traditional school" (she didn't differentiate between private or public schooling). She admitted to me that the only time she got the homeschool label wrong was if a child attended very good private schools that use multi-age grouping in its various forms (Montessori, Waldorf, etc.). Otherwise she couldn't really pinpoint just too much as much as just read her instinct.

She reiterated the inner confidence that is a very different confidence from those who attend most public schools. She mentioned a particular type of innocence that can't seem to be breached no matter what goes on in life.

She said that there is something about the conversation style, mannerisms during interactions, that are very different between the two groups.

And, not knowing which child was mine, she quickly pointed out she was not judging either group - just had this innate ability to separate them out from one another.
So I did ask about the two youngest. "How do you know? They are so similar."

The girl is hard, she said. Layers of hardness. There is a bitterness in her, but she wants to be loved - she knows she is loved, but her needs are so great that she is protecting herself. She probably has to protect herself at school because she has low real confidence in herself, thus she has become hard. It seems this tae-kwon-do program will be good for her and she will likely pull out of her current state, in time, with lots of support and maintenance of standards such as I see here. She has trouble with authority except when its getting after her. She probably has a mom and a dad at home or at least both are a consistent part of her life, but she doesn't spend as much time with them.

The boy is crusty. He has been hurt and is in need. I presume he has no father at home because of the way he looks to all the older boys and the adult men with such focus; he has other signs of paternal abandonment. I see him discerning which men to look to and which he ignores. This tells me he does have a strong man in his life and he is seeking those characteristics in others. Yet, he has that sense of innocence and that sense of confidence I mentioned that go hand in hand with one another - a confidence in his own value, thus a maintenance of innocence.

(she didn't know that Legoboy has several strong men in his life, but close enough!)

She also said something about each one responded to being reprimanded - their styles and mannerisms; but now, several months later, I can't quite re-capture the same words she used. My own observations: the girl pouts and stops trying until an attempt is insisted upon; Legoboy argues insisting he is right even after proven wrong, then does it the right way and keeps quiet, only later apologizing but never in the moment.

So. I asked her about socialization. What she thought about it. She said the important thing is to have true self-confidence in one's own value, not pumped up, not artificial, not over-protected, but a balanced and real life. She saw that all the TKD students present that day had a proper self-confidence - regardless of their schooling; but there was always something different about how each group interacted with each other and respected their authorities.

So do homeschoolers need more or different socialization, I asked. Is there anyone here who homeschools, who stands out as needing a change of scenery or are being inappropriately schooled?
All of them here have got it right, she responded.


Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Sourdough Cinnamon Rolls

Well, I finally did it. I FINALLY made something with all that sourdough I previously got started.

I'd intended to use it then, but sickness and work and other stresses got in the way, so it all sat in the fridge. I even forgot to FEED the stuff!

So Christmas Day, we pulled it out and started playing with it. It all came back and fairly quickly, so 2 months gone is not actually gone ;) Yay!

I decided that because I had the "main jar" for each type (I have 2 types); plus a back-up jar for each one; PLUS a peanut butter jar of each one (each jar is half-full), I would just resuscitate them 2 jars at first - see if it works. If it does, save some of THAT for the "main jar" - then resuscitate all of the rest and just bake it ALL up.

The thing is, so many of the sourdough instructions instruct you to toss out half of it at each feeding. That is SO unnecessary. if you start with a tiny amount to maintain, you can quickly double that and put your original back in the fridge, while working with the "doubled" part that would have been tossed out and turn THAT into whatever you're making. I understand the need to halve it and feed it so that it doubles again - in order to prevent the acidifying. Got it. But all that sourdough down the drain? All those good bacteria and yeast and ALL THAT FLOUR (I see wasted $$$$) down the drain!? NO way, buddy! Not in THIS household!

So. That means - we have a LOT of baking to do.

One of today's projects: sourdough cinnamon rolls.
BACKGROUND: If I've ever made cinnamon rolls before I don't remember - and it would have been with someone helping (ahem - directing!) me. I don't think I added near enough cinnamon and sugar inside....

BACKGROUND 2: these are sourdough cinnamon rolls and probably needed more than the usual amount of cinnamon/sugar to make up for it anyway.

BACKGROUND 3: This is my first time making ANYTHING with sourdough. Definitely need more practice, but a worthy first time!

[caption id="attachment_1031" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Not enough filling, I'm thinking. I added a BIT more after this photo.[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1032" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Risen and ready for the oven (we actually had two pans - the other is a small square) - boy did they rise!!![/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1034" align="aligncenter" width="300"] MMMMMM..... Looks SO GOOD![/caption]

VERDICT: not near enough sugar and cinnamon. (so we doused the top of the still hot glaze with a LOT more cinnamon - definitely delicious now!!! Next time, I'll have to play with the amounts on the inside. I DO think that our sourdough was probably a bit over-sour for this particular recipe. I'll use a more stable batch next time.

Legoboy is begging for more - I'd best go make sure he doesn't eat the whole pan!

I will definitely make these again, with the noted modifications. I just LOVE how active this sourdough is, even after 2 months of not being "fed". It is so much healthier, feels more "real" to me so is a spiritual boost, and I just don't think I'll go back to "baker's yeast" again (it just doesn't do well in my gut area, 'nuff said ;) ).

UPDATE: My mom mentioned brown sugar. I used our cinnamon-sugar mix and then added more cinnamon; which obviously wasn't enough. But I bet the brown sugar would have helped ;)

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Not Quite Christmas

It is not quite Christmas and I have a hard time believing it.

Advent slipped away. Amidst what? Not the shopping (I've bought groceries once this past month and all gifts this year are home-made or already purchased); not the parties (we really minimize those - just one thus far - all others will be during the Christmas season); not the decorating (we decorate on Christmas eve).

Amidst the vitriolic words directly towards others, including myself. Amidst reading and hearing about the evil attitudes of people in the stores. Amidst the job losses. Amidst hearing stories of consumerism. Amidst the stories of mental illness and the sufferings of families.

It doesn't feel like Christmas. Perhaps this was what the first Christmas felt like: a world in need of a Savior.

A world filled with bitterness. Filled with accusations against another's morality. A world filled with lack of understanding; lack of trying to understand. A world devoid of peace and goodwill towards one's neighbor.

And these things coming from Christians.

If that is how non-Christians see Christians, no wonder they would rather stay away. Far away.

No wonder they laugh at us for saying "Jesus is the reason for the season" as they put up signs saying, "Use reason for the season!" implying that Jesus could not be what we claim Him to be.

Because we can't even get His teachings right. How could we possibly get right an understanding of His birth? And death? and resurrection?

Something to ponder next time one is tempted to call into question a stranger's 'Christianity'. Are we judging splinters through our planks?

So yes. Perhaps it does feel like Christmas. A world filled with disbelief. Then, just a few months after that first Christmas, innocent children were slaughtered in the name of murdering a newborn King.

Perhaps it is time to prepare for the coming of Jesus into our own hearts. Our own stony, cold hearts. That is what Advent was supposed to be about. Is supposed to be about. Preparation for His coming - not the first time; but the second time - the Parousia. When God will be all in all.

Prepare our hearts to receive Him - all of Him, in all of us.

It begins NOW.

It is not quite Christmas. Christ is not quite present.

Can we make it happen? Can we be ready for Him?

Only then, can it truly be Christmas.

It begins NOW.

Monday, December 17, 2012

A Feast Day Celebration

Today (as I write this) we celebrated a saint known for light - I wonder who it could be ;)

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Morning Fatigue

It is rare these days for me to wake up fatigued and stumbling, waiting some burst of energy to wake me up after I'm woken up.

I remember those days in elementary school, middle school, high school, college, my son's early infancy.

Then we lived in Central Time Zone for a year - and something clicked. I was actually WAKING up, withOUT an alarm clock, every morning and still getting to my son's school on time to work the mornings then to my training center in the afternoons. Something about that time zone was so helpful. Or maybe it is was because we were so far north - the days and nights were much more extreme. I don't know, but it was nice.

So I decided to go without alarm clocks.

I can't explain it but for the most part I can wake up timely, not rush around but BE awake.

I don't need make-up to hide the bags under the eyes and I am mostly well-refreshed.

If I have to be up by a particular time that I don't think I'll manage, I set the alarm on my phone. Thus, alarms happen rare enough I actually wake to them (I stopped waking to them for a LONG time).

Well, a couple of Saturdays back I'd been up too late the night before working and had to be up early. For tae-kwon-do tournament no less - all the noise, all the driving in the early morning winter air. Sigh. I said to myself, "I don't have to do this again for a while."

So last night I stayed up late - got a second and third wind and really slammed through some intense, detailed projects. I am SO RELIEVED to have these projects out of the way! I have SO MUCH ELSE to catch up on! I thought for sure i'd sleep until 10:30 since I was going to bed at 4:30 after having been awake all day and most of the night.

I woke up at 7:30 and could NOT get back to sleep.

I am awake. But I am unproductive. I am bleary-eyed. I have bags under my eyes. I can't function, yet I can't go to sleep.

So I pray. I pray for sleep to overtake me. As I feel that familiar wave of energy seep into me that I remember so well from my school days. I hated it then. I hate it now. This being SO tired and waking up after waking up. It's not proper.

But neither is staying up until 4:30! Which will be a repeat tonight, if I don't fall asleep in the middle: THE HOBBIT comes out tonight and my son has been saving up money for a year. So despite our current financial straits, we are treating his godfather to a midnight showing.

I sense an afternoon nap coming on!

Monday, December 3, 2012

Learning Our Faith

As we begin the new year in the Church, my son and I begin a new school year and start to looking to start afresh.

At this time of year, we naturally seem to move towards two things every year without fail and without really thinking about it:

games! (more in another post) - he has re-instituted game-night.

studying our faith with a new format. Each year we do something a bit different: one year it might be lesson plans from Our Lady of Victory; another year it might be a Bible study of some sort; another year something else --- and we do tend to start something new again in Lent as well - so we have a series of "studies" going throughout the year.

This year, in addition to creating a wooden Jesse Tree ornament every day of the season, we are also looking to do one of the two Catechisms (we have done levels 1 and 2 of the original Baltimore Catechism as well as the various First Communion catechisms from these same publishers):

[caption id="attachment_1014" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The New St. Joseph Baltimore Catechism"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1013" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="St. Joseph New American Catechism"][/caption]

We won't do both - and we don't do the entire set - but we want to pick just one and can't make up our minds! I hope we decide before Advent starts!

The nice thing about studying not just one catechism, but several, is that the same points are studied in a variety of ways - so if one way doesn't stick, another might. And it gets FAR away from rote memorization and much closer to a true heart-understanding, in which we can enter into true conversations about our faith, without resorting to what happens when I have a door-to-door evangelist at my doorstep. You mention "Eucharist" = a key word - that sets off a particular CANNED response that has nothing to do with what I just said about the Eucharist. This happens all the time, but a particular instance stands out:

Older gentleman at my door.  He is from a local church and looking to invite others to come to church as well. I politely explain that I am Catholic and do not need another church at this time. Oh, he says, CAAAATHOLIC (dragging out the A sound, prononcing a long o and making the last part sound like LICK). And why might I ask are you Cath-oh-lick?

I believe in the True Presence of Christ in the Eucharist.

OH! The YOU-KAH-RIST! I see. Let me tell you about this home for alcoholic priests in the thumb of Michigan (proceeding to show me on the Michigander hand-map).

I asked him what his church taught about the presence of Christ in the Eucharist - and he continued to go on about Jesus not actually turning water into wine at the Wedding at Cana - that their wine wasn't like our wine today, etc. etc.

key words = canned response.

And I know Catholics like that too - so this is NOT picking on any particular denomination.

And I refuse to participate. I want a REAL conversation - NOT canned responses!

Stepping off soap-box now! And off to do a blind pick of which catechism to use this coming season of Advent.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Best Homemade Frosting!

If there is one thing I need with any recipe in this household - it better be EASY!

I have never held "exactness" high on my list of things to be appreciated - especially when it comes to food, cleaning and organization. Flexibility - yes! Now there's a word I can put on the "appreciative" list!

And this recipe cuts to the heart of it - it is easy on the budget, easy on the need for not one drop of high fructose corn syrup,  easy on sweet cravings, easy to modify and so easy I've never written a recipe card for it!

I just made a batch sitting at the computer - my son brought me the ingredients and I mixed it up (he could have too - but I munched while mixing ;) ).

Take a block of cream cheese (ANY amount will do) - drop it into a bowl (the bowl in my photo was a bit too small for the 3/4 block of cream cheese I had). Let it come to room temp. When it is close to room temp you could microwave it for just a few seconds (yes, this is one of those rare times I *might* go turn the circuit breaker on for the microwave and use it for the 15 seconds).

Once warm, add in an equal amount of powdered sugar. A tsp of your extract of choice (tonight was almond extract - we've also used vanilla extract) - or larger proportions of other flavors, in quantities to suit your taste: cut up strawberries, 1/4 part powdered cocoa (or melt some chocolate into it), peanut butter in varying quantities - whatever YOU want.

[caption id="attachment_1004" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="unmixed - almond extract, sugar and cream cheese!"][/caption]

Stir to your desired consistency. The thing with cream cheese is that it is hard to stir until the powdered sugar is mixed into it - so start with the powdered sugar and pull in sections of the cream cheese at a time - or just use a blender (lick the beaters!!!).

[caption id="attachment_1005" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="ready to go!"][/caption]

MMMM. Yum!

Spread on your serving platter of choice - tonight will be homemade, gluten-free pumpkin bread (we ran out of glaze for it so we made the frosting to put on our slices ;) ). Graham crackers, muffins, cupcakes - or whatever you like!

Now, this version is not particularly overly sweet - it will NOT be as sweet as the hot fudge topping ;) The nice thing though is that you can mix up this basic batch - starting with the minimal of flavorings and sweeteners - and increase your sweeteners and flavoring in small quantities until you reach the amount you like. Then just make a mental note of how you liked it and make it that way later! For example, if I want something sweet, I will do the sugar about 1 1/2 times the amount of cream cheese. Or I will do slightly less and add some honey. Fruit always makes it sweeter.

You can also substitute apple juice concentrate (easy equivalence: 3/4 cup of any juice concentrate is equal to 1 cup of sugar) - but it makes it runnier, so this is best done if you're going to be adding other dry or thicker ingredients - like cocoa and peanut butter ;)

Yes, I am making my own cream cheese upon occasion, but whenever it goes on sale for $1/block or less, I buy it - organic or not! Frankly, it's just better on the TIME budget that way! But any more than that and I make it.