The following sentiment has been expressed, in various ways, at various times; this particular statement is the most succinct:
I think it’s irresponsible as a primary parent to follow his plan to a T. You’re one person in charge of keeping yourself (and however many kids) afloat. You have to do things a little different than nuclear families because no one has your back when the ish hits the fan. Dave hasn’t lived that life.
Let's break this down:
Dave hasn't lived that life.
Technically, Dave hasn't lived any of our lives. He hasn't lived the life of any one other person in the rest of this world. He has lived his own life. He hasn't even lived his wife's life! This feels like a straw man to me. So what he hasn't lived this specific life? He also has studied financial principles and has worked with a huge variety of people at various stages of life, in various states of life, and he has seen consistent principles work time after time after time.
No one has your back when the ish hits the fan.
No truer statement right there. It's on me. It's on me to make the best financial choices possible with the best resources I can access. My way got me $75,000 in (school loans and credit cards) debt, eviction notice and a repo note on the car. And I didn't live extravagantly by any means. Nobody had my back, but I did find a solid set of financial principles to start building my life all over again.
You have to do things a little different than nuclear families.
Definitely true here too. But guess what? Dave Ramsey's baby steps takes all of those variations into consideration.
My journey as a single parent
This handy little chart has been phenomenally helpful!
- Anything mentioning "spouse" I brought in my son's input where appropriate or consulted with others for further insights.
- I check-marked and dated each mini-accomplishment until each baby step was completed.
- It is posted in my kitchen, next to our budget for the month, our savings tracker, my son's budget for the month (as a teen, he has his own allowance and responsibilities) and any other pertinent info we need at the moment.
0: You need that commitment or you will keep falling back down.
- This step is important. It is the preparation and the commitment. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE PREPARATION.
- Written budget - SPENDING PLAN - with every penny allocated somewhere: as a single parent with a varying income, I have tried a few ways to make this work.
- Now I am at a point where I have an emergency tight budget that I can fall back on,
- but I do have a standard budget so that each month, the allotments to each category are the same. Anything I don't spend goes into our sinking fund (not the emergency fund! and I only have ONE sinking fund). If ever an expense comes up that is more than that category has budgeted, I can utilize the sinking fund. For example, I pay my car insurance every six months but I have the monthly amount budgeted. In the months I don't pay, that car insurance money goes into the sinking fund. If utilities are less than the budgeted amount (which is slightly higher than our average use over the last 5 years), the extra goes into the sinking fund until the months were those bills are higher again.
- Any income more than budgeted for? Currently goes to retirement and house down-payment, but previously went straight to DEBT.
- I also don't spend this month's income until next month, so that money sits in a separate account (Paypal since that is my typical payment venue) until it is time to budget it for the following month. Then I always know exactly how much I have to work with.
- If income falls short one month? I fall back to the emergency cut-it-close budget for the following month. If that still isn't enough, then I go to the sinking funds. Still not enough? Emergency fund. I've not had to touch the emergency fund for quite a while now, because I have been able to cash-flow emergencies, including a 14 month absence from my business! But that explanation is for another part of this journey. For now I will say that when I first started out, that emergency fund was being touched more often than I liked, until I get the budget smoothed out.
- Temporarily stop all retirement contributions. That "temporary" might be about 5 minutes for some people as they move through the steps; and for others, that might be a year or two. Hopefully not too much more or I would start seeing what else could be adjusted to at least leak something into retirement. I had to take a 3 year break.
- Get current on your Four Walls and on all bills that haven't yet gone to collection agencies. This is the primary reason why you are temporarily stopping retirement, because you've got to make sure your home is taken care of! And you need to stop up the leaks FAST.
- Get rid of toys and non-essentials. It seems that there is more motivation to do this stuff drastically when you are in the snowball stage (baby step 2) but definitely get started on thinking about those things you don't actually need. Maybe there is something or lots of somethings you can already think of! If you don't need or want them in any way, those are the top of the list!
- Cut lifestyle. Look at the things you just don't need right now. What can be diminished? What can be cut back entirely? Get frugal. Maybe you go overboard, maybe you're already quite frugal and there just isn't much to cut any further. Do what you can. This isn't a permanent cut in lifestyle, this is temporary until you're back on your feet and able to keep consistent.
So far, so good. Other than getting on board with your spouse, there is nothing here that a single parent can't do.
Come back on Tuesday for Baby Step 1: My Journey as a Single Parent
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